what has she written?

wow. i guess i didn't really do things during my undergrad i was posting in here non-stop. and to be honest, i didn't really have anything to talk about. i do now but i don't have time.

oh, the irony.

but it's friday night, i don't have school tomorrow (which is a rarity) so i figured i'd sit down and recollect.

i'm going to go on a rant for a little bit and you must forgive me but i totally agree with whoever says there can't be an intelligent designer when they could make things so imperfectly. i hate my body. i hate the fact that it can't do the simple things, like walking, without feeling that i'm going to need to go to the hospital. i hate feeing like i'm letting people down because i can't do what's asked of me. i couldn't play in my lesson today and even though my teacher insisted that i not play, i couldn't help feeling like a failure. i know that this is a very warped sense of reality and i am dealing with it accordingly but i wish i didn't have to be put in this situation in the first place.

on more down-to-earth news, two weeks till my fall break. i'm very excited...i should find out about my (new) car on monday. tomorrow is my very first orchestra concert at peabody. it's really occurring to me just how different my life is here. this ocncert is sold out. what? oh yeah. i think i could get used to this.

there isn't much very special going on in my life, i'm too busy for that but i'm hopeful.

can't you just come back for a couple of weeks?

just a quick little post to whittle away my last half hour at work.

i called the boss lady at work today. she and martha were very happy to hear from me. apparently, it's swamped in the office and they have no one to replace me (which saddens me, of course) they asked me how i was doing and if i had settled in. it was nice to hear their voices. lisa was like "i can't even imagine starting a new year without you...i need someone that i can, like, do stuff with." that job was a very important part of my life for almost four years. they became my family and that's not something that's easy to give up. i can't wait till i go back and see them. just watch, everything will have changed.

i really wish i could explain to others, and to myself, why i love my home state so much. it's something so uniquely american, i feel. i've just been mad digging on n.c. the past couple of weeks. going to obx inspired me, i think. that and when i invited all of my friends list to join "race for the states - north carolina" that they did! and after app state beat michigan, i felt like it was freaking christmas (i'm still talking about it and it was saturday) i don't know. no place beats home, anyone's home and that's a big part but i'll be damned --- i've been to a lot of places and none of them are as beautiful as north carolina.