zueignung

i realized something the other day as i was watching the english national ballet perform at wembeley stadium in the concert for diana: i could imagine people in the audience being annoyed at the fact that they had to watch ballet (maybe emasculating?) and as i was watching it, i was like, "boring. i've seen swan lake a BILLION times, you've got to be kidding me." me, the ballet enthusiast/lover/participant. then it came to me. everyone who thinks the arts are girly/pansy/boring/hoity-toity have never been to a rehearsal. if everyone could see the way we as artists rehearse, they would see things differently. they'd see things the way i see them.

rehearsals are rough.

there is a lot of sweating, cursing, pencil-erasing, yelling, laughing, etc. i think every dance rehearsal i've come back from, i've lost my nerve and hurt something/bled. every choral rehearsal i've ever had i've come back with some sort of hope for the future or utter disdain (depending on the choir) and every chamber music rehearsal, well, a lot of yelling takes place. and that's just the shit i do. go to an english national ballet rehearsal and see how hard they work. realize that every woman in there is made of lean muscle and could kick your ass if need be. do you think you could handle the gaggle of tyrannical conductors and their non-stop abuse? (and oh yeah, playing music is very physical. that's a whole different story) we rehearse for hours, late into the night with very little stopping. and there are not tuxes or fancy costumes. it's sweats, beat up jazz and pointe shoes and reading glasses. music in hand, pencils in hair, standing next to the barre, it's on.

maybe if that's what we as a whole saw, the intensity, emotion, work and sheer force, opinions would change. whether that matters or not is another story.

and msnbc has just announced that beverly sills has passed away. it was just the other day that i found out that she was sick. not only was she an amazing talent, she was a powerhouse on the new york arts scene. she will be missed. and fuck you msnbc for butchering her name. check your shit.

there's a red moon out tonight low on the horizon. sad night here in the city.