insecurity can be a horrible thing. it can make you crazy. i criticize every move that i make because i'm insecure. i have always felt incapable of being loved so when i am in a relationship with someone, i get so paranoid trying to keep them. why am i paranoid? well i'm too crazy to be in a relationship, duh. and i hate these feelings because i'm so strong minded and strong willed. i think its because i'm trying to be the type of woman i think men want me to be when who i am is just fine.
this is why unlike other people i know (ahem) i can tolerate being single. its nervewracking being in a relationship, but its worth it.
putting someone's dirty laundry out on the street is also another terrible thing. so is lying to someone's face. but you know what, i've been all through that already and i have no desire to go through it again. let's just say that it is what it is (and i'm going down fighting)
aschenputtel, i mean, cendrillon, no, cenerentola...cinderella is going well and taking up all of my time. my dresses are amazing, i got new lines that are mad funny (funny because i say them) and i wonder if other people in the ensemble hate on me because everyone loves me. oh well. (repole gives me lines and confers with me, amanda tells me she trusts me and don't get me started on stephen...) this show has a long run and i don't know if i have it in me to do it without collapsing (especially how i have midterms coming up)
but all and all, i can't complain. i got fabulous news last night and i hope it keeps coming. one can only hope.
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