there's something very cathartic about cleaning. it lets you get your physical space together as well as your mental one. since i have, virtually, nothing to do, i've been cleaning quite a bit. washing everything in sight, sweeping a whole house of wood floors, watering plants, folding clothes, you name it. it helps keep me at peace and let me sleep at night. because let me tell you, the terrors and fears are never too far behind.
today i got an email from PK. it was really sweet. he asked me about my trip to the caribbean. he also told me that he thought the playing in my jury was the best he had heard from me. that really meant a lot. he discussed a summer plan for me to really get me moving this fall and i was just so grateful that he took the time to do that. it wasn't degrading or anything like that. just a teacher being helpful. i really took it to heart. if i had a ridiculous ego and no shame i would have taken it as an offense. good thing that's not me at all. unfortunately, i have to email him and let him know about the CTS. i'm sure that will invariably change his plans for me.
like the line in one of my favorite movies, "we never seem to get a break."
so june has been pretty pointless for the most part even though i had to miss one of my very dear friend's wedding and the senior recital of one of my favorite people. you know, tied to a very nonsense job that leaves even my co-workers confused. next week, however, i will be up in NYC for a bridal shower (its the summer of weddings!) so that will be an experience. i'm really just counting down to july. i miss my trio and i can't wait for the time we'll have up in frostburg.
i'm reminded of father's day. my own father and other fathers. i feel like maybe dads get the short end of the stick sometimes. i'll be the first person to say that the relationship between my father and i is much different from that between me and my mother. don't get me wrong, i love them more than life itself and i couldn't get along without them. but i'm a girl and have always been attached to my mother. but i'm not going to leave it to one day to express the love i have for my father. he and i have been through a lot and he's number one in my heart. i was deeply saddened by the passing of tim russert on friday, moreso than by any other "celebrity" figure i can think of, especially upon hearing the touching stories of him, his father and his son. too little do we hear stories about great fathers. maybe because we don't think they deserve the credit, or "that's their job" (a phrase i loathe) i know for a fact that i would not be where i am without my father and i grieve for the russerts in this loss of their father, son and husband.
i'd really rather not end this on such a sad and poignant note so i'll have to come up with something...i don't know, thoughts escape me. i guess i'll just wish everyone a very happy father's day! (love you daddy!)
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