i hate the fact that i've associated being emotionally vulnerable with being weak in character and resolve. i want myself to feel what everything inside me is trying to feel right now because it's true, honest. instead, i'm pushing it down because i don't want to seem weak. well, i have to stop that and just go on feeling.
on a happier note, peabody confirmed the processing of my application. i'm just waiting on yale and hartt (i think i might forego northwestern --- still thinking) my mother and i sat down and planned my trips to all my auditions. it's so funny because sitting down with her working on something that's so pivotal and ensures, even, a little slice of adulthood, i still feel like a baby. but then again, having all of your friends get married and you yourself dating an older man will definitely highlight those feelings.
speaking of marriage, i got a christmas card from james and meagan today. they're doing so well. i really need to go out to utah and visit them. i hope they have kids soon, they'll be such great parents.
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