north carolina yields to south carolina?

happy fourth of july, mes amis américains! it's been a pretty low-key holiday for me considering my history but it was rainy here in new york so i wasn't really inspired to go out. so instead, i stayed in watching all thirteen episodes of the revolution on the history channel and the inevitable law and order marathon. 'twas a beautiful thing. but it hasn't been all fun and games. a lot of thinking being done. in a state of half-consciousness, listening to the history channel, i dreamt up my subconscious thoughts about america and this war and all of this nonsense. it went back to the beginning of the declaration of independence, of course. this work in progress that we call america is such a grand and valued experiment, necessary. it is not our place to toy with the power we've accrued over the past centuries. we are to grow and to never think that we've achieved some sort of invincibility. we are rebels, independent thinkers, brave and full of reason. let that continue to be our legacy. not...not this.

i'm sitting here watching one of my favorite musicals ever, 1776 and i had failed to realize till now just how relevant a piece of art it is. just listen to cool, considerate men and you can see just how eerie it is. at times this was always a hard musical for me to watch, especially when rutledge sings his aria about slavery. but nonetheless, it is compelling and moving. go watch it, everyone.

but that's enough of that for one day.

i hope you all had your fill of barbecue, fireworks and other flammable goodies, good music and whatever it is that you drink on these holidays. i'll save my standard forms of celebration for another day when i have the opportunity. did i mention that this is my favorite holiday? oh yeah.

this queasy view of the future.

i know i said i wouldn't do this but i was so struck by this when i read it that i had to write it somewhere.

"ah, this is the constitution," he said. "now mark my words. so long as we are a young and virtuous people, this instrument will bind us together in mutual interests, mutual welfare, and mutual happiness. but when we become old and corrupt, it will bind us no longer."

ron chernow, alexander hamilton

it will allow you to see them with fresh, clear eyes.

my goodness, world, so much is going on and i don't think i can touch on it all with any sort of accuracy or relevancy.

my thoughts on va tech? first, i thought of my friends who are at the university and those who are recent alumni. they are fine, much to my relief. but after that, where do you begin? so much emotion --- sadness, grief, confusion. i've tried not to think about it too much in the days passing because so many conflicts arise within me, maybe those should be discussed i don't know. but it causes so much upheaval...tis a strange place.

my personal life is not salvaging very well but i haven't come here to whine about it. i know what i have to do to get it together, so get it together i shall.

right now a very good friend of mine is dealing with a very difficult crisis and it is only becoming more and more complicated and it only makes me wonder...what is it about ourselves that allows us to put ourselves through such pain? every time we talk, i always tell her that i'm speaking from experience. i have gone through everything she is going through and how. you'd think we care about ourselves more. i don't know. i wish she'd see that this is only one singular moment in time, one that will not define her whole life. it took me a long time to come to that realization.

this time of year brings it out in people, i swear. i have a lot on my plate, that is certain. but when is that never true?

we are building ourselves a glass house.

okay, i guess it's my turn to weigh in on this whole don imus controversy. i don't really feel it's necessary (as my opinion is a drop in a colossal bucket) but it's just i have to get it out or i may just explode. so here it goes.

when i originally heard his comments, my reaction was small if any. i didn't take it too seriously (i have known about imus and have listened to him off and on for years now --- thanks ms. newmark) i did think "oh, well that was unnecessary." but that was about it. i can definitely understand why the women of the lady scarlet knights would be offended and ask for an apology (or at least an explanation) and i felt that was owed to them. what did they do to deserve that? that have no impact on any sort of social commentary (they're not famous NBA athletes, etc. they're just women in college playing college ball) i hoped that it would be resolved in that way and let the powers that be determine the fate of the players involved.

but no, that was not to be. people in the african-american community felt it necessary to say a lot of things. and then the rock that rolled down the mountain went from a snowball to an avalanche. that's all i heard on TV and in the papers and all i could think about was "who are you to comment on this?", i mean honestly. if you're outraged by this man's comments, that is your right. if you want to do something about it, it is your right as well. people, however, were acting as if someone slapped their mother. just because you're offended doesn't mean that i have to be offended as well and that your opinion has to determine the fate of a man who hasn't done anything that, unfortunately, scores of people have not done and do on a daily basis (i.e., use the airwaves to say what could be considered by some/most as "hate speech", derogatory and plain stupid comments) we're making examples now of people who choose to be ignorant in their thought process? because it's more public than most?

and the thing that gets me the most was listening to the president of the nbc news department regarding the removal of the simulcast on msnbc. it was evident that he didn't want to do it. he caved under the pressure not only from activism but sponsorship withdrawal. and if the only reason he feels it's necessary to remove the show is for those reasons and not because he feels some moral obligation to do so (meaning msnbc does not represent these sentiments) then really, what are we doing? what is the point that's being made? don imus is not off of the air because he's being held accountable for his actions --- he's off the air because his actions (and the ridiculous response to those actions) have given his bosses no choice. now maybe that would be the impetus for others who speak in this way not to do so but somehow i doubt it. why? because i know who controls the media. and those people have nothing to fear.

the media response to this was intolerable. i do not care about john mccain's opinion or barack obama's opinion or anyone else for that matter. the only people i listened to were the women on this team and they astounded me with their level of understanding, dignity and composure. i have been told that now, they are receiving death threats due to imus' removal. they don't deserve any of this and the media has guaranteed that this incident will be a deep scar for the rest of their lives. everyone in the press owes them an apology as well.

the timing of this and the acquittal of the duke lacrosse players could not be more perfect. for those who don't live in north carolina, more so, the triangle area can not possibly understand how divisive this ordeal was. it played on the race relations that have served as a constant problem in my hometown. it was volatile. and these same people who demanded so much from don imus in the press, went to the press to condemn these young men. and it was the press and use of the press that blew this up WAY out of proportion (note: any rape case is serious but this sort of thing, unfortunately happens everywhere all the time --- it was due to the people involved, who they were, i.e. rich white boys of prestige and a young black woman, that started this whole nonsense) and no one's taking any sort of responsibility for that. my town deserves an apology. but no one will talk about that, will they?

as a young black woman, i do feel the comments were inexcusable. but my feelings don't mean a thing. only the feelings of the young women involved --- for them, this was personal. the "divisiveness" that exists in america is constantly being exploited by pundits and figures of power whether they know it or not. honestly, i don't feel that split is a real thing, or was a real thing. we all disagree on many issues. but if anyone wants to make it real, it's those in the media and i'm tired of it. do you're job, inform me. do not make this a bully pulpit where anyone can say what they wish and we as the american people have to pay for it in one way or another.

this goes out to all of the al sharptons, don imuses, and anyone else out there. take your bait somewhere else.